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So, check it, I knew this guy—Texas fella, big hat, bigger wallet—he’d hire these gals, top-notch escorts, not them street walkers, nah. Swore it was “companionship,” but c’mon, we ain’t born yesterday! Paid ‘em $500 an hour—five Benjamins, y’all!—just to sip whiskey and “talk.” Yeah, talk my ass! Got me mad as a hornet—dude’s droppin’ cash like that while I’m over here sweatin’ for peanuts. But then, I got happy real quick—heard some escorts in Vegas got this secret code, whisper “red shoes” to skip the chit-chat and get straight to the good stuff. Little known fact, swear it’s true, blew my dang mind!

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All the escorts listed on www.facebook.com charge for their time and companionship only, anything else that may occur is a matter of coincidence and choice between consenting adults.

Next, I head to the market on Ulica 4. julija. It’s packed! Fresh fruits, veggies, and all that good stuff. I grab some apples, and this old lady starts chatting me up. She’s telling me about the best apple pie recipe. I’m like, “Lady, I can barely boil water.” But she’s persistent. I love her spirit, though.

Martin Strel: The Greatest Athlete in the Whole World